You’re Probably Talking To a Pedo

The Big Cheese — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 13:27:29 +0000

Pokemon Chat-Up Lines

The Big Cheese — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 11:34:24 +0000

For all you Pokemon lovers and you lovers of people who love Pokemon. Prepare to be seduced.

Ode To Merton, The Chat Roulette Piano Guy

The Big Cheese — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 01:21:03 +0000

If you’re a regular reader, you would have seen Merton perform impromptu songs to the random audience that graced his screen on chat roulette, unfortunately though, YouTube removed his video for some unannounced, bizarre reason.

Ben Folds took it upon himself to re-enact the vido for us, but with one slight difference, it’s live and in front of an audience of more than 2000 screaming fans. It’s awesome.

Piano Improv on Chat Roulette

The Big Cheese — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 20:33:48 +0000

You start watching… and then it gets SO MUCH MORE AWESOME!!!

Wall of People Being Awesome on Chat Roulette

The Big Cheese — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 22:00:19 +0000

Chat roulette (minus the masturbators) is AWESOME!

How to catch a predator – Chat Roulette Style

The Big Cheese — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 21:38:30 +0000

The last one of these was taken down, so I’m not 100% sure how long this one will be up. Pretty crazy though, this guy uses pre recorded footage of a 15 year old girl

Chat Up Lines – Geek Style

The Big Cheese — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 11:54:07 +0000

Seeing as the new Geekette section is stirring some interest, it’s likely that the Geekettes involved will receive some interest also, so to secure your chances of bagging such a special lady, try some of these on for size.

Geek Chat Up Lines:

Did you make a Google Bomb? Whatever I search for, it’s you I find.

Tell me of this thing you humans call *dramatic pause* love.

If you turn me down now, I will become more drunk than you can possibly imagine.

They don’t call me Bones because I’m a doctor.

Your name is Leslie? Look, I can spell your name on my calculator!

What’s a nice girl like you doing in a wretched hive of scum and villainy like this?

You must be Windows vista because you gots me so unstable.

My ‘up-time’ is better than BSD.

I can tell by your emoticons that you’re looking for some company.

Is that an iPod mini in your pocket or are you just happy to see me.

Want to see my Red Hat?

If you won’t let me buy you a drink, at least let me fix your laptop.

You had me at “Hello World.”

Mind if I run a sniffer to see if your ports are open?

You make me want to upgrade my Tivo.

By looking at you I can tell you’re 36-25-36, which by the way are all perfect squares.

Jedi Mind Trick: “This is the geek you’re looking for.” *waves hand*

You can put a Trojan on my Hard Drive anytime.

Have you ever Googled yourself?

How about we do a little peer-to-peer saliva swapping?

With my IQ and your body we could begin a race of genetic super-children to conquer the earth.

What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this when there’s a Farscape marathon on right now on the Sci Fi channel.

I’m attracted to you so strongly, scientists will have to develop a fifth fundamental force.

I’m attracted to you so much that scientists will begin to doubt the Theory of Relativity.

What’s a nice girl like you doing in a chatroom like this?

Resistance is futile.

No matter how I sort things, you’ll always be first.

No, that’s not a Logitech MX-100 in my pants, but thanks for noticing.

I think you could be an integral part of my project life cycle.

I’d switch to emacs for you.

You put the SPARC in my workstation.

If you have an empty slot, I have the card to fill it.

We’re like SLI. Were great alone, but we’d be so much better together.

You got me stuck on Caps Lock, if you know what I mean.

I have so much love to give you’ll have to pipe it through more.

Do you work for a TelCom? Because I bet you’d be good at pulling cable.

I was hoping you wouldn’t block my pop-up.

Would you like to play Scrabble with me? I am tired of playing with myself.

You compute me.

Girl, I wish I was your differential, because then I’d be touching all your curves.

But enough about me, let’s talk about mu.

Be my queen and mate me with your knight moves.

You’ve stolen the ASCII to my heart.

You must’ve been made by Intel to be that hot!

I entered the probability equation into my TI-89 Titanium Graphing calculator and it predicted you would go out with me, see!(hold up calculator)

What’s a nice girl like you doing on an unsecured webcam like this?

Can I have a large coffee with sugar and your phone number, please?

Do you prefer the static or expanding universe theory more? Because, since I first saw you, I’m expanding.

That Princess Leia slave girl outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.

You make me want to be an honest man, and register all my shareware.

Yes, that is a real light saber replica in my pocket, but I’m still happy to see you.

You’re so beautiful, I’d take my Steve Austin action figure out of its original packaging for you.

Do you want to come back to my place, and we can prank call George Lucas?

I don’t mean to disturb you, but Heisenberg’s Uncertainly Principle said I already did that by observing you.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, because p=mv and your velocity after falling that far would be incredible.

The Cheese Grater » Chat